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Here are a few of our favourite stories, complete with fancy moving picture things.
When I was really little I used to stop eating when I had a loose tooth because I didn’t want it to fall out. It became such a big issue my mum tried to invent ways to get the tooth to fall out. One of these involved waiting until I was asleep, creeping up to the side of the bed and trying to punch the tooth out my mouth… Caring mother!
Ayla De Moraes.
My dad is a massive motorsports fan. As a child I remember every Sunday afternoon would see him sat in front of the telly, with only Murray Walker’s dulcet tones heard over the constant drone of motor engines. On one of those afternoons I walked into the lounge to find him stood up in front of the telly, peeing into a nearby pot plant, eyes still glued to the telly. By way of an explanation, I was told that the race was REALLY exciting. I was also told not to tell Mum. In his defence, I should just say that this was during the genuinely exhilarating Mansell/Prost/ Senna era of Formula One. And he was sober.
When I was little my mum told me that when she was in hospital after giving birth to me, she had something in her eye. The doctor popped her eyeball out on her cheek, washed behind it and popped it back in. She never spoke of it again. Not even to tell me that this wasn’t the way that medical professionals remove objects from your eye. Fast-forward to when I’m 21. I’m in the office and someone has something in their eye. I recount the story to them and suggest they pay a visit to A&E. My colleagues fell about laughing and told me it wasn’t possible. So in an attempt to prove that the story was indeed true, I called my mother. I referred to the story she had told me many years ago and asked her to confirm it for my idiot colleagues. I couldn’t hear her response through the cackling laughter.